My husband fell in love with a woman who was sure of herself and had been and worked as an escort in London. He longs for that woman, the one he knew. But getting married has changed me, and it is hard for me to square what I thought would happen in the past with what is happening now. He wants the “freaky sexy girl” he married, but I want to connect with someone and talk to them. The part of my life that I have not talked about as an escort worker in London puts a shadow over our relationship and reminds me of both the woman I used to be and the woman I am trying to become. According to https://charlotteaction.org/reading-escorts/.
Our story began in London, a city full of life and activity. Many people can only see a glimpse of the world I lived in; it was full of glitz, freedom, and a certain kind of power. My job as an escort in London helped me feel more confident, improve my ability to connect with people, and learn more about what people want. Though it was a strange part of my life, it made me into the woman my husband fell in love with.
Marrying, though, meant a change from the busy nights in London to the calmer routine of home life. The demands of a wife and partner started to weigh on me, and it was hard for me to connect my past and present. The confident and outspoken woman he met made my husband miss her, and he seemed to long for her return. He said he missed my “mojo,” the thing that had drawn him to me in the first place.
But the truth is that I had changed. The nonstop show and intensity of my old life were starting to wear me down. I really wanted to connect with someone on a deeper level. Not only do I want to play a part, I also want to share my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The part of my life that I did not talk about as an escort in London became a wall, a subject we avoided, a ghost in the room.
His desire for the “freaky sexy girl” he married was at odds with my desire for a closer relationship. I felt like I was living a character and reliving a past that did not feel real to me anymore. The talks we had did not go deep enough for me, they felt empty. It felt like a piece of me was being removed, like an important part of my life was not okay to talk about.
Because of the silence around my past, I felt alone. It seemed like I was living two different lives at once: the wife he wanted me to be and the woman I used to be. Even though my time as an escort in London was hard, it was also a big part of who I am, and denying them felt like denying a part of myself.
Looking for someone who could see past the surface and accept me for who I am, I longed for understanding and acceptance. I wanted to build a connection with you that was honest and open, where we could talk about the past and make it a part of the present. But it was hard to find a way to meet both of our standards while also allowing my sense of self to grow. There was an unsaid part of my life as an escort in London that remained in the air. It was like a delicate dance between the woman I was and the woman I was becoming.